Always the Outsider

Today was the birthday of a friend of mine. She had a few friends over and freed a little by some alcohol we had consumed, she kissed a guy. Very handsome. Very tall. Smart-ass kind of guy. I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t reject her, but I became hyper aware of myself as I usually am in party situations.

I’ve never been to a party where I felt like I could just cut loose and not give a fuck, you know? Heterosexual people (not that you’re all the same and not that all gay men are all the same) just have this ability where it’s okay to randomly kiss a hot stranger for no reason. Women kiss men all the time and vice versa. But never have I ever been to a party where I saw a hot guy and just kissed him because I thought he was attractive. 

It’s inherent that heterosexuals can do this, because it’s just assumed that everyone is hetero unless otherwise stated. And it’s bothering me that I feel obligated to just kinda chill in the corner while everyone else gets the chance to make a pass at the hottie.

What am I even saying?!

The party atmosphere isn’t a place I inhabit often, but when I do visit, it’s probably with a bunch of females dressed to the nines and a bunch of guys decked out in college gear trying to score with the girls. Little old me should probably be at home watching a Rom-Com on Netflix.

These posts have gone severely down-hill. My voice is shot and my words are crippled.
My apologies.

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