Zero to Hero: Day Six – Elements

Hey again. It’s been a few days. That’s usually how it goes. I’m still participating in Zero to Hero, but I didn’t find it necessary to post when I added a widget or checked out my neighborhood. I didn’t exactly do it in the order shared with us, but they did happen. As a matter of fact, one of the new “neighbors” has partially inspired this post!

Day six is about adding elements to posts –audio, videos, or photos –to spice up blog posts. Excellent idea. But before I made it to this blank page, I read an entry from Travelholics’ Anonymous who is currently studying abroad in France. We’re actually almost REAL neighbors (Germany & France. No? Okay.) Of course it got me thinking:

WHY THE HELL DIDN’T I RUN AWAY TO FRANCE?! I’ve spent about three days looking at rideshare opportunities to go to Prague to see a friend, or about two hours away to meet another friend, but I could have gone to PARIS!

Avenue des Champs-Élysées

It’s about a six hour drive from my house in Germany, but I’ve taken a five hour car ride with strangers to Hamburg to meet someone. Why couldn’t  I have taken six to explore Paris on my own? These always come too late. Now here’s the thing: I was looking for some adventure, but it doesn’t have to only be when I’m here in Europe. I feel much more comfortable in Europe (which is odd considering my non-English language skills are similar to that of a toddler.), but there are worlds to explore back in the United States. And I will be exploring them soon enough. Life is headed in that direction and I’m making decisions now that will actually without a doubt affect my life post-college. Isn’t that exciting?

This post didn’t turn out to be what I wanted. It started as a “Wow look at people living their dreams and doing interesting things” and instead it turned into “You kinda fucked that one up too, now didn’t you?”

Sounds about right. But look! Media! My task here is complete. For now.

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Zero to Hero: Day Three – What’s On Your Mind?

Here we are again, because I’m playing catch-up as always. Day three of this “30 days to a better blog” is supposed to be going back to that original idea of starting this blog and actually doing it. Originally I started this blog with WordPress because I heard it was a great platform (and it seriously is a wonderful, beautiful thing), good for writers to share things and interact. So I’m going to share with you a poem that I’ve written. How many more times poems will be here, I’m not sure, but we’re following directions. Mostly.

Too Late – Aug. 2013
The buildings are tall here
and they all seem as though they have
a story to tell.
But I’m not interested in talk of wars or fires:
I’m interested in the space between the steps you take.

We talk together, but in reality,
I’m following you, walking a half-step behind,
watching you from the corner of my eye
and listening to the sound of your voice
down these empty streets.
And it echoes loudly. And it mixes
with our footsteps on aging cobblestone;
it is magic and I am
Lost.

Somewhere between telling my mother I love her
and riding the train home with you,
I looked at you and realized I want
More.
Just a glance in my direction simply wont’ suffice;
leaning into my while laughing is only a tease.
I’m looking for meaning behind your eyes
and passion in your touch;
it’s not enough to know I’m going home with you.
I want to know that I’ll belong here
in the morning.

And then it’s over.
I’m dressed to go and resigned to think
less is all I’m meant to have,
only to have you kiss me as though
you care more than you let on;
you said not ever fuck deserves a cuddle
          -but we had never fucked.
You kissed me goodbye at the train,
said you’d like to see me off when I fly to college next week:

that’s when I knew I’d fallen into
the worst kind of love.

Zero to Hero: Day One – Who Am I?

Hello. Hi. Bonjour. Welcome.

Zero to Hero seems like something for the new to blogging. As in, “I made my first blog Jan. 1 and I want to do this!” I’ve had too many blogs to remember and kept up with hardly any of them, so I’ve done this before, but I’m still fairly an amateur…if you care to ask me. Day One’s objective is to let you get to know me. So here you go:

I’m Glenn and at the time of this posting, I’m a undergraduate senior in college at the University of Minnesota majoring in English. My minor is in Interdisciplinary New Media Studies through our Journalism school. So that’s education. I’m 22 (today actually. WOO!). I enjoy writing, but I mostly do poetry these days. I dabble in music: I’m a part of an a cappella group on campus called Vocal U and it’s a blast. I’ve also done choir for the longest; four years in high school (became the president) and then two-ish years in college. I make videos for YouTube. Super amateur, but as of this year, I’m changing some things up so hopefully it’ll become even greater! I identify as gay. I like to mention that up front so people aren’t all butthurt (no pun intended) when it comes up later. And it surfaces a lot, trust me. I like to think I’m generally a simple guy, but often times I complicate things on accident. It’s this talent I never asked for.

Why am I blogging instead of keeping a journal? I used to keep journals all the time and that was during a time when I had a lot of secrets to keep. I was coming to terms with my sexuality and that’s not something someone can always be comfortable sharing when it’s so new. These days, I’m pretty sure about myself (most times) and blogging is a way to continue to write and put things out into the world. Practice for eventually having a novel or anthology of poetry published one day. I also like to think that blogging helps people in similar situations. It’s hard to find people to talk to or understand sometimes, so if you just put it out there, maybe someone can have that help without having to cross a line they’re not ready to cross quite yet. (By the way, I’m always willing to chat. ^^)

I thought this would be another place to post poetry, but then it became something of venting place. So that’s what it seems to be: telling stories of my life and why it’s bothering me and whatnot. I like it this way.

So welcome. Feel free to stay a while. I’d love to have you.

The Guy Next Door

Is there a limit to the amount of people one can be interested in? Because sometimes I feel the numbers are increasing, but I’m getting nowhere. VERY QUICKLY. Prime example: how many of the posts on this blog are about things I have for men? Basically all of them except like two or three, right? Close enough. Is this not a problem?!

Yes and no.

I’m either overwhelmed with possibilities of choices of wonderful, attractive men or there is a negative number of suitors/men to be pursued; usually how it works. Currently it looks more overwhelming, but in reality, it’s probably a very normal amount.

I spent the entire Monday afternoon with Al having a BEAUTIFUL time. Seeing him always feels nice. I like being in his presence. He never wants to do more than cuddle (which could be offensive, but I get to cuddle so…). It’s just always a super cute date-not-date type deal. I leave a little sad and simultaneously elated because feels for males that have the slimmest chance of coming to fruition.

Thursday night I spent it with The Guy Next Door. We met online a year ago right before I left for school. This was actually our first time meeting in person after chatting that entire time, using Skype occasionally. Part of my evening could have been taken from a movie. We sang I Write Sins not Tragedies in a bar drinking beer; we watched Shelter which is a favorite movie for BOTH of us; after finding the courage to kiss him, we sat facing each other laughing and giggling about me trying to pronounce “dimples” in German: “Grübchen.” Like what?! When he drove me home, we listened to the Panic! at the Disco CD he still had from when he was 16. We were TOO. FUCKING. CUTE.
It was all just really nice! I knew I liked him already. We’ve had interesting conversations in odd English for a while and meeting him in person was much better for conveying his personality which is much more outgoing than I would have expected. But it works. And it’s nice. And I’m a bit fascinated. DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE EVEN TALKED ABOUT MOST OF THE NIGHT!? Fucking Language. How one would say something in German completely different in English. At one point, we played those old school hand-clapping games: “Shame” and one about burning houses with policemen in German…I don’t know, but I loved it! Basically what I’m saying is that I fucked myself over. But you knew that was coming, didn’t you?

I actually got in trouble with my mother for staying out until FIVE AM! I didn’t want to go home and he had the house to himself so we were literally just talking and laughing for HOURS with me not having phone service which I discovered when we left and I have a message in all caps from my father saying to call my mother (apparently she called and I had no clue. Obviously I would have answered).  I’m very glad all that happened was a kiss. It was beautiful and that complicated things enough. I leave to complete this damn undergraduate degree in two weeks and while I feel like falling for someone can’t be timed, this is definitely an inconvenient step in that direction.

2014 is off to a beautiful start, but also my feels are running around right now.  Kudos to getting my hands dirty so early in the year. May some of these risky crafts become beautiful pieces of art.