Is there a limit to the amount of people one can be interested in? Because sometimes I feel the numbers are increasing, but I’m getting nowhere. VERY QUICKLY. Prime example: how many of the posts on this blog are about things I have for men? Basically all of them except like two or three, right? Close enough. Is this not a problem?!
Yes and no.
I’m either overwhelmed with possibilities of choices of wonderful, attractive men or there is a negative number of suitors/men to be pursued; usually how it works. Currently it looks more overwhelming, but in reality, it’s probably a very normal amount.
I spent the entire Monday afternoon with Al having a BEAUTIFUL time. Seeing him always feels nice. I like being in his presence. He never wants to do more than cuddle (which could be offensive, but I get to cuddle so…). It’s just always a super cute date-not-date type deal. I leave a little sad and simultaneously elated because feels for males that have the slimmest chance of coming to fruition.
Thursday night I spent it with The Guy Next Door. We met online a year ago right before I left for school. This was actually our first time meeting in person after chatting that entire time, using Skype occasionally. Part of my evening could have been taken from a movie. We sang I Write Sins not Tragedies in a bar drinking beer; we watched Shelter which is a favorite movie for BOTH of us; after finding the courage to kiss him, we sat facing each other laughing and giggling about me trying to pronounce “dimples” in German: “Grübchen.” Like what?! When he drove me home, we listened to the Panic! at the Disco CD he still had from when he was 16. We were TOO. FUCKING. CUTE.
It was all just really nice! I knew I liked him already. We’ve had interesting conversations in odd English for a while and meeting him in person was much better for conveying his personality which is much more outgoing than I would have expected. But it works. And it’s nice. And I’m a bit fascinated. DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE EVEN TALKED ABOUT MOST OF THE NIGHT!? Fucking Language. How one would say something in German completely different in English. At one point, we played those old school hand-clapping games: “Shame” and one about burning houses with policemen in German…I don’t know, but I loved it! Basically what I’m saying is that I fucked myself over. But you knew that was coming, didn’t you?
I actually got in trouble with my mother for staying out until FIVE AM! I didn’t want to go home and he had the house to himself so we were literally just talking and laughing for HOURS with me not having phone service which I discovered when we left and I have a message in all caps from my father saying to call my mother (apparently she called and I had no clue. Obviously I would have answered). I’m very glad all that happened was a kiss. It was beautiful and that complicated things enough. I leave to complete this damn undergraduate degree in two weeks and while I feel like falling for someone can’t be timed, this is definitely an inconvenient step in that direction.
2014 is off to a beautiful start, but also my feels are running around right now. Kudos to getting my hands dirty so early in the year. May some of these risky crafts become beautiful pieces of art.